Tonight's as good a night as any for you to get rid of your virginity. Tell him to go easy. But seriously. I'm so jealous. Have a great time. Go get him girl!"I can always count on Claire to help!I hear steps on the stairs. There's a long pause in the hall. A really long pause and some foot shuffling. I lie back on the bed and pretend to be reading. There's a knock on the door and it opens slowly."Come in Sam. How can I help you?"My heart is racing, my adrenaline is red lined and though I'm trying to act relaxed I'm wound as tight as a k** about to have sex for the first time! "Um. Mr. Dillard?" Yes, what's up?" You know how... um... I'm still a virgin? and I'm eighteen and all? and about to go to college?" Yes." Um... Can we just make out and see where things go? Claire has been telling me how great you are, and you're REALLY hot," she exagerates in nervous excitement, clutching at her crotch as she's already hot as fuck and a little drunk and unaware of touching herself as she. But the only words the parrot knows how to say are: “Who is it?”She takes the parrot home, but soon realizes that the bird’s color clashes with the living room. So she calls an Interior designer, who says he will come by shortly.When the Decorator comes, the woman is out shopping. He knocks on the door, and the parrot says “who is it?”The man says, “It’s the decorator.”The parrot says “who is it?”The man says “It’s the decorator.”The parrot says “Who is it?”The man says “It’s the decorator!!!”The parrot says “who is it?”The man screams “The decorator!”The decorator gets so mad, that he pops a blood vessel, and dies on the spot.The lady comes home and finds a dead man lying on her front porch. She says, “Oh my gosh ... who is it?”The parrot replies, “It’s the decorator!”A Muslim was killed in a car accident. He arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter says “I’m St. Peter. Welcome to Heaven”.The Muslim says “Nice to meet you Peter but I’m a Muslim and I want to meet Muhammad.”St..
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